Realistic Realism

For some reason, the thought of “being real” has been popping into my head over the past few days. Being real about who you are, being real about what is going on in your life. I am not sure why this idea has popped into my head, maybe it is because deep down I don’t know if I am always “real” or if I am always the person that I want to be. Maybe it is a longing or desire to make sure that relationships are real. When we go through life, it seems like it is harder and harder to find a real relationship. We try so hard to make ourselves look good, look perfect, act perfect, dress perfect, and we forget that being real and authentic with one another is lacking. Being authentic and real with one another is more important that what you look like, or what you have on.

What do you think? Am I missing the point? Does real and authentic relationships take a lot longer to grow than it seems?

I am thinking about small groups, more specifically small groups with student for the student ministry here at Suncrest. I would love to be able to have authentic real conversations going on in those groups. I got a chance to here a story this past week from one of our students. Now this student is a little over dramatic, but he approached another leader and that leader came and got me and we went into a room. Now what was about to happen and what was about to be said I was not expecting. The student began to tell me about his week, how he felt he had emotionally lost everything when his best friend told him that he was too busy to be friends with that person anymore. I dont know if you can, but the word suicide came out in this conversation. A thought that is horrifying whether someone is looking for attention or really contemplating. Here is the point, in my heart, I could feel his genuine distress and his genuine hurt, and for some reason I started to think about whether or not that was a real and authentic conversation. A student able to share what he was really feeling with two adults and another student there.

So why does it seem like sometimes, real and authentic conversation is so hard to have? Why does it seem like real and authentic small groups are hard to grow?

I would love some help on this subject. What do you think? How would you say real authentic growth can happen in a small group? How can real authentic relationships grow in a small group?